Embracing Anxiety: Finding Calm in the Chaos

January can feel like a hard reset. The holidays are over, the decorations are packed away, and suddenly we’re left with colder weather, longer nights, and a quieter pace. It’s a time when many of us—including myself—experience an emotional crash. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or even a little sad lately, I want you to know something deeply important: you are not alone, and you are deeply loved.

I want to share some reflections, along with practical tools inspired by experts like Martha Beck, Brené Brown, and Jon Kabat-Zinn, to help you and those you love navigate anxiety with compassion, strength, and joy.

Why Anxiety Feels Stronger After the Holidays

The holiday season is magical—filled with joy, love, and connection. Family gatherings, cherished traditions, festive lights, and thoughtful gifts light up our hearts. But when January rolls around, that excitement fades, leaving a quieter space that can sometimes feel heavy.

I’ve seen this shift up close. My dear friend owns a company with hundreds of employees, and this time of year brings him a lot of stress. Seeing someone I care about carry such a heavy load can feel overwhelming. But I’ve learned this: our job isn’t to fix someone’s anxiety—it’s to be present with love and understanding. And that starts with offering the same grace to ourselves.

Rewriting the Story of Strength

As Martha Beck writes in The Way of Integrity, our culture often teaches us that feeling vulnerable means we’re weak. Men hear, “Be strong, don’t cry.” Women hear, “Put everyone else first.” These messages can leave us feeling ashamed of our own emotions or unworthy of care.

Let’s change that story right now. Feeling your emotions doesn’t make you weak—it makes you brave.

Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” Anxiety is a call to courage, not a sign of failure. It’s a reminder to pause, breathe, and reconnect with the love and strength already inside you.

Welcoming Your Anxiety with Compassion

One of the most loving things you can do for yourself is to stop fighting anxiety. Instead, welcome it as part of your human experience. Ask yourself gently:

• “What are you trying to tell me?”
• “What do you need from me right now?”

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, teaches that when we bring mindful awareness to our emotions—without judgment—we create space for healing. Remember, your anxiety isn’t a flaw. It’s simply a messenger inviting you to slow down and care for yourself.

Practical Tools to Find Calm

Here are some tools that have brought me peace and joy, inspired by experts and my own experiences:

1. Ground Yourself with Your Five Senses

When anxiety feels overwhelming, grounding yourself in the present moment can bring relief. This exercise is simple but powerful:

• Look around you. What do you see?
• Listen to the sounds in your environment.
• Smell something soothing—a candle, tea, or even fresh air.
• Touch something comforting—a soft blanket, your pet, or even your own hand.
• Taste something grounding—a sip of tea or a piece of chocolate.

By focusing on your senses, you remind your mind and body that you are safe in the here and now.

2. Breathe with Intention

Your breath is a lifeline to calm. Try this simple exercise:

• Inhale slowly for 4 seconds.
• Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
• Exhale slowly for 4 seconds.
• Hold again for 4 seconds.

Known as box breathing, this technique activates your body’s natural relaxation response. With every breath, imagine yourself inhaling peace and exhaling tension.

3. Create a Soothing Space

Martha Beck encourages us to design a sanctuary in our home—a place where we feel safe and loved. This doesn’t have to be fancy. A cozy chair with soft lighting, a favorite blanket, and a candle can work wonders. Surround yourself with what brings you joy and comfort.

4. Embrace Anxiety with Kindness

Imagine your anxiety as a small, scared creature. What does it look like? What would it say if it could talk? Inspired by Martha Beck’s visualization, this exercise helps you interact with your anxiety in a kinder, more compassionate way. Instead of resisting it, you can cradle it like a friend in need of love.

Supporting Someone You Love

Watching someone you care about struggle with anxiety can be so hard. I’ve felt this with my friend. I’ve wanted to fix it, but I’ve learned that the best thing we can do is simply be present.

How to Support:

• Listen Without Trying to Solve: “I’m here for you. I’m listening.”
• Validate Their Feelings: “I can see why you feel that way. That sounds really hard.”
• Ask How You Can Help: “Would you like to talk, or should we just sit together?”
• Encourage Gentle Self-Care: “Let’s step outside for some fresh air together.”

And most importantly, remind them that they’re not alone—and that their feelings are valid.

Moving Forward with Love

Anxiety doesn’t define you. It’s a signal to pause, breathe, and reconnect with what truly matters. You are stronger than you think, and the love and peace you seek are already within you.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed today, I encourage you to try one of these tools. Maybe it’s grounding yourself with your senses. Maybe it’s creating a cozy space for yourself. Or maybe it’s simply whispering, “I am worthy of peace, love, and joy.”

You are not alone in this journey. You are deeply loved, and you are absolutely enough.

Need more support?
At CoachHeatherOwens.com, you’ll find tools and resources to help you embrace movement, mindset, and adventure. Let’s stop struggling and start creating the joyful, beautiful life we deserve—together.

With all my love,
Heather