Blog by Coach Heather Owens RN, MBA, Certified Fitness & Life Coach
Gorgeous angels, welcome back. 💗
Today, we’re diving into a topic that is not just transformational…
It is required for any woman who wants to rise, evolve, and become her most radiant, embodied self:
Shadow work.
Now before your mind goes to something heavy or dark — breathe.
Shadow work is not scary.
It’s not about reliving trauma.
It’s not about digging up pain just to suffer through it.
Shadow work is the process of bringing light to the parts of you that have been hidden:
The parts you outgrew.
The parts you rejected.
The parts you silenced because the world told you they were “too much.”
The parts you abandoned because being yourself didn’t feel safe.
Shadow work is how you stop living from old programming
and start living from your truth.
✨ What Is the Shadow? (The Untold Truth)
The shadow is every part of you that learned to hide in order to survive.
It’s:
• The little girl who stopped expressing pain so she wouldn’t be a burden.
• The teenager who stopped shining because other girls were jealous.
• The woman who muted her sensuality because she was judged for it.
• The version of you who swallowed your truth to avoid rejection.
• The part of you that believed:
“If I shrink, I’ll be safe.
If I perform, I’ll be accepted.
If I hide, I won’t be hurt.”
Your shadow is NOT bad.
It is wounded.
It is misunderstood.
It is protective.
But here’s the thing:
The patterns that protected you at 16
are the same patterns that sabotage you at 36.
Shadow work is how you stop letting an outdated version of yourself run your present-day life.
✨ Why Women Need Shadow Work to Rise
Women carry so much inherited programming:
Be humble.
Be modest.
Be quiet.
Be agreeable.
Don’t be too confident.
Don’t be too pretty.
Don’t be too ambitious.
Don’t intimidate anyone.
Don’t make waves.
Don’t take up too much space.
Do you know what all that programming creates?
Shadows.
Women learn to hide:
→ their sensuality
→ their power
→ their ambition
→ their boundaries
→ their desires
→ their truth
When you hide those parts…
you hide yourself.
Shadow work is how you reclaim the pieces of you that were never wrong —
just misunderstood.
✨ My Personal Shadow Work Journey
I’ll be honest with you…
Shadow work changed my life more than almost anything else.
Because I had to face the parts of me I didn’t want to admit existed:
→ The part that needed validation from men
→ The part that didn’t feel worthy of deep love
→ The part that stayed small so others wouldn’t feel insecure
→ The part terrified of judgment
→ The part that believed being beautiful made me unlikable
→ The part that apologized for my confidence
→ The part that feared standing out
→ The part that believed wanting more made me “ungrateful”
And when I finally saw those parts…
I could finally love them.
Not push them away.
Not shame them.
Not hide them.
Shadow work allowed me to say:
“I understand why you learned this.
But I don’t need this pattern anymore.”
And that moment changed everything.
My confidence grew.
My relationship deepened.
My boundaries strengthened.
My business expanded.
My self-love skyrocketed.
My intuition sharpened.
I stopped abandoning myself.
I became the woman I used to only imagine.
Shadow work didn’t make me perfect —
it made me whole.
✨ The Psychology of Shadow Work — Why It Works
There’s a scientific reason shadow work is so powerful:
When you suppress parts of yourself, your nervous system stays in survival mode.
Your subconscious believes:
“If I reveal this part, I won’t be loved.”
“If I express this truth, I’ll be rejected.”
So even as an adult, you still:
→ overthink
→ people-please
→ hide your emotions
→ sabotage opportunities
→ silence your desires
→ fear being seen
→ disconnect from your body
→ shrink your brilliance
→ dim your sensuality
Shadow work breaks this loop.
When you validate your shadow, your nervous system softens.
It finally believes:
“I am safe to be fully myself.”
This creates:
• Confidence
• Calmness
• Boundaries
• Attraction
• Emotional regulation
• Magnetism
• Authenticity
• Self-trust
• Identity transformation
This is why shadow work feels like coming home —
because it is.
✨ How to Do Shadow Work (Safely + Powerfully)
These steps will help you integrate your shadow with love and intention:
1. Notice the pattern.
Ask:
“What do I keep doing that I don’t want to do?”
“What triggers me?”
“What do I fear people will think of me?”
“What am I embarrassed to admit I want?”
Awareness is the doorway.
2. Identify the root.
Ask:
“When did I learn this?”
“Who taught me this part of me wasn’t safe?”
“What moment made me shrink?”
Understanding dissolves shame.
3. Choose compassion, not judgment.
Say:
“I understand why you did this.
You were protecting me.”
Your shadow is not wrong — it’s wounded.
4. Reparent the part you rejected.
Visualize younger you.
Put your hand on your heart.
Say:
“You are safe now.
You can rest.
I’m leading us forward.”
You cannot heal a shadow you still hate.
5. Embody the new belief.
Ask:
“What would the healed version of me do?”
“What boundary would she set?”
“What truth would she speak?”
“What energy would she allow?”
“What would she no longer tolerate?”
Then take ONE aligned action.
Shadow work only creates transformation when paired with embodiment.
✨ Your Shadow Is Not Your Enemy — It Is Your Map Home
Beautiful soul… listen closely:
Your shadow is not the broken part of you.
It is the part that protected you for years —
the part that helped you survive what you didn’t yet know how to navigate.
But you’re not surviving anymore.
You’re rising.
When you love your shadow, you integrate it.
When you integrate it, you expand.
When you expand, you become whole.
When you become whole, you become magnetic.
When you become magnetic, you become unstoppable.
You don’t become your highest self by being flawless.
You become her by being whole.
And I am so proud of you for walking this path.
Truly.
✨ Journal Prompts
• What part of me have I been afraid to reveal — and why?
• What belief did younger me create to feel safe?
• Where do I still abandon myself to be accepted?
• What does my shadow need to hear from me today?
• How would my life change if I trusted myself fully?
✨ If this message opened something in you…
If you’re ready to integrate your feminine energy, sensuality, confidence, and power…
Come move with me at LuminaFit™.
This is where women come home to their bodies.
This is where your shadow becomes your strength.
This is where transformation becomes identity.
