By Heather Owens, RN, MBA – Speaker • Mindset & Life Coach • Host of Look At Me Now

💫 Influence Isn’t About Pressure—It’s About Presence

You don’t need to talk louder. You don’t need to sell harder.
You just need to show up grounded in who you are—with a message so aligned, so clear, and so full of heart that people lean in and say:

“Yes. That’s exactly what I needed.”

Persuasion, the way I teach it, isn’t about manipulation.
It’s about emotional intelligence, neuroscience, empathy, and a little bit of that glow-you-can’t-teach energy. ✨

Whether you’re leading a team, pitching your dream, parenting teens, or building trust in a new relationship—how you deliver your message matters. A lot.

Let’s break down the 7 pillars of heart-led, science-backed persuasion—Coach Heather style.

📍 A Story from Tampa (Because Real Life Teaches Best)

I spent seven hours at a high-performing research site in Tampa. The director was impressive, efficient, and clear about one thing:

“We do not do chart reviews.”

I didn’t argue. I didn’t try to prove myself. I just pivoted. I helped with outreach instead—knocking on doors, building a referral pipeline, and showing up like the partner she didn’t know she needed.

When I returned with hard data and real results, she handed me a confidentiality agreement and said,

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Trust. Proof. Follow-through. That’s how doors open. No force required.

🧠 The 7 Pillars of Persuasion—Coach Heather Style

These are for everyone: women and men, leaders and dreamers, anyone who wants to influence with soul—not ego.

1️⃣ SAFETY – Calm the Nervous System

When someone feels pressured, judged, or rushed—their brain says no, even if their heart wants to say yes.
🧠 Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges) shows we can’t access connection or collaboration until we feel safe.

Try this:

• “Is now a good time to share something I’m excited about?”
  
  
• Open your posture. Smile gently.
  
  
• Sit beside, not across. Let your energy say: “I’m with you, not against you.”
  
  

✨ Your tone creates the truth your words deliver.

2️⃣ EMPATHY – Let Them Feel Seen

When people feel emotionally understood, their defenses drop—and trust rises.
🧠 Mirror neurons and oxytocin create instant connection when we “feel felt.”

Try this:

• “That sounds like a lot. What was the hardest part?”
  
  
• Reflect their language calmly.
  
  
• Don’t rush to fix—hold space like a pro.
  
  

✨ Empathy isn’t weakness—it’s your superpower.

3️⃣ NARRATIVE – Tell a Story, Not Just the Stats

Stats are impressive. Stories are unforgettable.
🧠 Storytelling syncs brainwaves, activates emotion, and bypasses resistance (Hasson et al.).

Try this:

• Use this formula: set-up → struggle → solution.
  
  
• Let people feel the journey, not just hear the outcome.
  
  
• Add sensory detail: “She could barely walk to the mailbox. Now she’s dancing in her garden.”
  
  

✨ Facts inform. Story sells. And you? You’ve got both.

4️⃣ CREDIBILITY – Be Real, Not Robotic

Confidence isn’t perfection. It’s preparation + presence.
🧠 The Pratfall Effect proves that small flaws can make you more trustworthy—especially when paired with real skill.

Try this:

• “This may not work for everyone, but here’s what it did for two other sites just like yours.”
  
  
• Use real numbers. Not “around 15”—say “14.”
  
  
• Share your credentials, but let your character speak louder.
  
  

✨ Let your words be backed by receipts—and your energy be rooted in truth.

5️⃣ SOCIAL PROOF + RECIPROCITY – Show the Win, Then Invite

We’re wired to trust what others are already doing—especially if it’s working.
🧠 The ventral striatum lights up when we see people succeed. And Cialdini showed us: when people receive value, they want to give back.

Try this:

• “Other partners are doing this—it’s going beautifully. I’d love to support you in the same way.”
  
  
• Offer value before you ask. Show the transformation. Invite them into something bigger than a transaction.
  
  

✨ Influence isn’t about pressure—it’s about shared purpose.

6️⃣ COGNITIVE EASE – Make It Feel Simple

When something is easy to understand, it feels safe—and true.
🧠 Studies show cognitive fluency increases trust (Alter & Oppenheimer).

Try this:

• Break things into 3 clear points.
  
  
• In relationships: “Could you handle dinner tonight so I can catch my breath?”
  
  
• In business: “Would it help if I sent over a one-page summary?”
  
  

✨ Confusion kills connection. Clarity builds momentum.

7️⃣ CONSISTENCY – Show Up Like You Mean It

It’s not one great pitch—it’s who you are when no one’s watching.
🧠 Trust grows from repeated patterns of safety. Dopamine rewards what’s dependable.

Try this:

• Be the person who follows through.
  
  
• Remember names. Send the recap. Keep the promise.
  
  
• Don’t just say “I care”—show it, again and again.
  
  

✨ People trust patterns more than promises. Be both.

🌟 Your Micro-Challenge

Choose one pillar this week.

• Start a conversation with safety.
  
  
• Mirror someone’s words.
  
  
• Share a story instead of just a stat.
  
  

Then notice how people respond differently. They’ll feel more connected. More seen. More open.

And you? You’ll feel powerful in the most grounded, beautiful way.

🎤 Bring This Energy to Your Stage or Team

If you’re looking for a speaker who blends science and soul, kindness and clarity, data and delight—I’d love to serve your audience.

✨ Keynote: Look At Me Now – The 12-Step Success Method
🧠 Workshop: Train Your Brain to Believe – Rewiring the RAS
💼 Corporate Talk: From Burnout to Breakthrough – Belief-Based Performance

📣 Book Me to Speak:
https://heather-owens.mykajabi.com/speaker

🎧 Listen to the Podcast:
https://www.coachheatherowens.com/podcasts/look-at-me-now-the-coach-heather-experience

🌐 Visit the Full Site:
https://www.coachheatherowens.com

💋 Final Word from Coach Heather

You don’t have to push.
You don’t have to shrink.
You don’t have to shout.

You just have to show up—with heart, clarity, and consistent follow-through.
That’s what earns trust. That’s what opens doors.

And when you lead this way—
✨ With warmth.
✨ With confidence.
✨ With soul…

People don’t just hear you. They feel you.

And when they say,

“Wow… look at them now,”
it won’t be about your pitch.
It’ll be about your presence. 💛